Saturday, December 5, 2015

Saturday Afternoon

Dear  Family and Friends,

I made it through customs in Dallas and am now on my way to Philly.  I only spent a week in El Salvador but I'm still finding it difficult to say "thank you" in place of "Gracias."  Before I reflect on the week as a whole I have some catching up to do.  Yesterday did not end until late last night and having to rise at 4 am for a 7:30 am flight (which never happened--more on that in a moment) I thought the flight time would be the appropriate time to reflect and share on the past 32 hours.

Yesterday we awoke in San Antonio de Las Ranchos, I could say to the crow of the rooster, but he'd actually been crowing all night!  So I suppose a more authentic discription of my rising was the sound of the women working.  Buckets of water were be sloshed about, conversation had commenced, children could be heard playing and no I didn't sleep in--this was all happening around 6 am!  Life is not easy there in the village.  The house I stayed in had plumbing . . . I'm not sure I can call it "indoor plumbing" as it was on the porch, but some houses where our group stayed had no plumbing but rather an outhouse in the backyard. 




"Te quierido" Angela, the grandmother in our house, spoke to me as she hugged me goodbye.  She hugged me with such love and compassion as if we were long time dear friends who had to say goodbye.  If only every person we encountered could feel that, imagine what our world could look like with human arms embracing in place of bearing arms in defence.  Some  may say it's utopian, but I believe in that world!  And I hope to live in it someday!


Breakfast seemed to be left overs from the party the night before . . . which no one was complaing about as they were so delicious everyone wanted more!  Plus there was a hot chocolate which was delicious!  And a band serenading us as we ate!  What a vibrant and life filled people!  What a beautiful community with whom to spend these two days!




We were soon on the road to San Jose Las Flores, another town in Chalatenango for our final presentation.  On the way the bus drove over the bridge where the accident that took Sr. Carla's life occurred.  We paused a moment on the bridge to remember her.  In my own continued grieving process of losing my daddy I can't help but be encouraged and held up by the "remembering" these people do.  It is beautiful!  We must continue to tell the stories of those who went before us . . . we must hold them alive in our hearts and in our communities and families.  Because in remembering we still have them!  It will never be the same as it was but it is something new and resurrected.

Once we arrived we were welcomed into a beautiful scene of palm trees, and foilage that was the perfect amount of shade and sun.  We came to listen to the inspiring stories of the women there who talked about their experience with organizing women's groups, vegetable gardens, and other women's initiatives that SHARE supports.  These women were incredibly strong.  Many of them seemed around my age which means their entire childhood was one of war and violence.  Yet they stood before us smiling, laughing, joking, and sharing their stories of hope and courage!  When I say they "organize women's groups" I do not mean Sunday bible studies or book clubs.  These women have stood up for their rights and communities in incredible ways.  The most striking for me was their work to end mining in the area.  These women would actually follow after the companies pulling up markers that had been measured out for their work.  These women did not want the unhealthy environment that it would cause, they spoke of the desire for "Healthy water, not gold."  They help women in situations of domestic violence--when asked how they assist the women one said, "First, we castrate the man."  She was joking of course . . . but it is this sense of devotedness to the safety and security of those who are abused and abandoned that spoke deeply to me.




It was not long after that we found ourselves back on the bus.  What was suppose to be a two hour bus ride ended up being much longer due to major traffic.  I guess Friday afternoons are terrible even in El Salvador!!!

Our last evening in San Salvador was one of joy and celebration!  The SHARE foundation treated us to a party down town to celebrate all that we have done together in this week.  I was asked what I would take away from this experience and I think the answer for me is humility.  I came to engage in the culture of El Salvador, I came to experience the stories of the Martyrs, I came to be in solidarity.  I did not expect there to be such joy over my being here, I didn't think anyone would really take notice I guess . . . I'm just Sara from PA.  I'm really nobody.  But the people of El Salvador made me feel so important . . . and not in such a way as putting me on a pedastal . . . but in a way of solidarity.  They were so incredibly touched by our coming and being "with" them.  They were grateful that we came despite overwhelming stories of "danger" meant to instill fear.  They welcomed us with open arms as if we were long lost family members returning home after a long journey.  



I hope if any of them ever come to the US that we too could welcome them with the same hospitality and open arms into which we were received!

I will continue to share some reflections in the coming days as I reenter my own culture and schedule.  But as it has been a LONG day already and one that is not over yet I will leave it here for no!  Oh, that flight that never happend!  Upon arriving at the airport this moring at 5:30 we learned that our plane was delayed . . . I was told due to the plane not making it in the night before because of "meetings", other were told they "lost a plane" . . . and finally, the one that takes the cake, "because of volcanos."  Whatever the reason our flight was delayed which meant we would miss our connection in Miami so we were rerouted to later flights.  All in all it's not terrible we will be arriving about three hours later than orginially planned . . . could be worse.  Plus, I'm pretty adjusted to "latino time" after this week, so I'm feeling pretty patient!  

Con amor,

Sarita

Friday, December 4, 2015

Midnight

Dear Family and Friends,

I think Salvadoran roosters are confused! My clock says midnight! 

Sleepless in Salvador,

Sarita

Thursday Night 10 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

What an incredible day!! Today was a day of peace and joy and celebration! I write to you tucked away under my mosquito netting in the home of Rojalio and Angela—two beautiful people from the town of San Antonio de los Ranchos. The people of this town ... Where the Maryknoll sisters lived and ministered ... Is filled with unbelievable hospitality! 

I am getting ahead of my self! Let me start with this afternoon when we arrived at the cemetery where Maryknoll sisters Carla, Ita, and Maura are buried.  We had a beautiful prayer service to give witness to their incredible legacy. We sang Carey Landry's song "women of the church"—which I learned today the fifth verse was written for the four women martyred here in El Salvador.




After the cemetery we made our way to the local church where we celebrated the women's lives. What is most evident to me is the incredible faith and solidarity of the people here! They love the sisters so much ... And in turn love all of us who travel from the States because we represent to them the people who care and continue to support the people of El Salvador to be in solidarity with our brothers and sisters! 




After Mass we processed down a road with lanterns ... Singing ... Proclaiming praise for the lives of the martyrs!



We passed by the location where Sr. Carla drown. If you don't know her story you should definitely take time to look her up! I knew nothing of her, what I have learned is that she is one of the Maryknoll sisters who lived here. During the rainy season Sisters Carla and Ita were in a car that was overtaken by flood waters ... Carla pushed Ita out of the car to safety but she herself drown. It is beautiful that she is held up right along side the other women. To me that demonstrates that the people have such great admiration and love for the sisters not because they died for them but because they lived for them! 

This evening we had the most wonderful celebration with the people!  With fireworks!!!


And children singing ...


And now I am so incredibly happy to have the opportunity to stay with the people!!!  Plus it finally gave me the opportunity to really use my Spanish for which I am grateful! And surprised how well I could actually do! 

So now amidst the sounds of distant dogs barking and chickens squawking I will drift into dreams of hope and faith and in prayer of a world more united as we were tonight!

Con mucho amor y con Esperanza,

Sarita  

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Thursday morning

Dear Family and Friends,

We had the option to sleep in this morning ... You know I took it! It felt good to have time for my body to rejuvenate a little after very intense, emotional, full days!

I've had a little feed back from home that the stories in sharing are filled with such pain that it is hard to carry it all. And while yes that is absolutely true—there is so much pain and suffering—there is also great joy and we are meeting people who are really making a difference for their country. 

So, a story of joy.  Last night we went to the office of the Minister of Exterior Relations where we were present for the official announcement that the site of the martyrdom of the four women would soon be recognized as a national historic site! I think this is so powerful and such a huge accomplishment for the cause of justice because it is a national recognition of the justice and peace for which they gave their lives!

Bishop Gumbleton from Detroit has been traveling with us these past few days. Many involved in the social justice world know his name and the great work he has done to stand up for so many important issues in our church and world.   He spoke beautifully of what this means for the path of continued justice here in El Salvador.



One of the representatives shared her thanks for all those who have been "captured" for the cause of justice. I was not following the translation all that well but I wonder if she meant those who have been arrested protesting things like the school of the Americas. She shared this gratitude on behalf of our Salvadoran brothers and sisters.


After the speakers we were presented with roses and then we all gathered to celebrate with food and drink! It was a beautiful evening of solidarity celebrating a step in the direction of peace and justice!

Today we head to the graves of Maura Clark and Ita Ford—Maryknoll Sisters are buried in the country they die in ... We will travel about two hours outside San Salvador to the town where they served and lived. 

Con Paz y justicia,

Sarita

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Wednesday 6:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

This afternoon we spent some time at Cietta—a center for investigation, experimentation, and transfer of ecological agricultural technology. We heard the president of the company and the women empowered to work there of their desire to know where their food comes from.  They no longer want to see people getting sick from the toxins of pesticides and other chemicals injected into food. They do what we do on our very own Red Hill Farm—provide healthy, organic food for the local community!

They asked us to return to the states with a message for our legislators ... They spoke of their struggles with CAFTA (Central American Free Trade Act). They clearly understand trade will and maybe should happen but what they ask of us is to petition our legislators to remember the small farmers and to protect them in these policies. 

Rural North America can relate ... Can we not? What has happened to our small farmers in the face of the genetically motified food of Mansanto?  I have a friend who is allergic to apples ... Or so it appears as every time she would eat a store bought Apple she would begin to have trouble breathing. One day she picked an apple off a tree on her street—growing naturally with no chemical assistance—turns out she's not allergic to apples ... Her body is physically rejecting the chemicals smeared upon their skin! Our bodies are actually pretty smart if we allow ourselves to listen to them ... They tell us when something is poisonous ... If only we listen!

The work these women are doing is so vital to the health of El Salvador.  They spoke of "food sovereignty" saying that "food security" is not enough ... Having enough food is one thing ... But having access to healthy food is what we should actually consider a basic need!  I think we struggle with the same issue in the States —just look at what is allowed to be purchased when using EBT cards. Not the healthiest food options. 

Seems food sovereignty is an issue not confined to El Salvador but certainly one for which they are taking a stand!

I want to close by sharing the importance of trees ... The president spoke of the trees being the only "crop" to last through times of drought... They spoke of all the gifts the tree gives us—shade, water retention, air—and now they plant mango and coconut trees because in addition to all these other things they give us food.

Cietta has commited to planting 100,000 trees in ten years. 30,000 have already been planted. Each tree costs $3, if you would like to donate a tree ... Or two ... Or more please contact me ... I will collect money to send through SHARE to Cietta.

Por ahora,

Sarita


Wednesay 12:45 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

The bus drove in silence as we made our way on the road where Maura, Ita, Dorothy, and Jean had been taken. As we walked in silence up the rocky road that lead to the place of their deaths we heard what sounded like gunshots (we later learned the sound was from the celebratory bottle rockets commemorating the anniversary or their martyrdom) ... But we had not known that ... I could not help but feel the fear these women must have felt that day.

But every where I turn I hear nothing but stories of hope sprouting from the land on which their life bled out. Stories of faith, of love, of companionship, and of devotion to the human rights of all people! The Mass in the chapel resurrected on the site where their bodies were found was one of celebration and joy!



After Mass we processed outside to the monument in their memory where we heard story after story testifying to the lives of these women! We laid roses in their honor. We remembered!





We have all experienced moments of hurt and discouragement ... We have all had experiences where we have felt misunderstood and attacked... In some of those moments in my own life I have had people of deep faith and compassion reach out, touch my hand, and listen to my story. I think we forget how powerful listening and solidarity are ... We are not always called to "fix" sometimes—maybe even often—we are called to just "be". 

I think that's what these women must have been to this community. They came to be with, to live with, to reach their hand out and touch the hands of others. To say nothing more than "I am here".

I am grateful for those in my own life who have been that presence! And I hope that I may lead my life in a way that others may say that of me.

Con amor,

Sarita

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Tuesday 8:45 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

As I write to you our bus is attempting to make nearly impossible turns to decend the mountain on which we had dinner. On the way up they gave up after hitting something ... A tree? A high curb? We walked the rest ... But somehow the buses eventually made it ... I have most certainly experienced some of the most impressive bus driving skills here is El Salvador! I wouldn't take a pick up truck through half the manuevers these buses are making!

We've spent half the day on the bus ... or so it feels! I slept on the way home from the sisters of the Pequeña Comunidad—what a beautiful experience!

There was dancing ...


And singing ...


And all the while we were surrounded by immense beauty!




There were so many things experienced today but there was one woman's sharing that I believe sums up what it meant to be present to each other today—sr. Ana is a sister from the States who has been in El Salvador for the past thirty years. She began with the question, "Is it dangerous to go to El Salvador?" Followed by silence and then a second question, "If your brother or sister were sick would you go to them?" She shared that she does nothing of great importance here but that she does a lot of things of little importance that bring others life! 

Isn't that how we should all live? If we ALL did lots of little things a whole lot of big things would happen! We could indeed change the world ... And that's what I witnessed here today ... Lots of little things making a huge impact!

She asked us to listen to her heart not her words ... She told us we each had to answer for ourselves, there is no universal answer but we each have a call.   She told us we were each called to El Salvador and asked us to reflect on that ... I believe I'm here to share their story.

And despite the real reality of violence here I would encourage others to come! Because in the face of that violence are those standing for truth and love in solidarity with so many who have lived their lives and gave their lives for this land and its people!

Buenos Noches,

Sarita


Tuesday Morning Catch Up

Dear Family and Friends,

Still at the "rest stop" so I shall share my final "catch up reflection" on Monday!

Last night before returning to the hotel the group of us who split yesterday to visit the Romero sites visited the Jesuit martyr sites where the others had early spent time.  

It was once again a powerful experience of "the church" the people. In some ways—though it was difficult to see the rose garden in the dark—it was eerily appropriate. The priests were marched out of the rectory in the middle of the night, in their sleeping clothes, and killed right below where the rose garden now commemorates their lives.  

Inside we saw the very clothes they were wearing that night, the torn bathrobe, the  ripped night shirt, the blood stained under garments and sandals. I cannot imagine the fear they felt walking to what they surely understood would be their death. 

Where does such courage come from?  Did they doubt in their final moments? Were they filled with peace? Did they try to talk to their assassins? What would you or I do? 

One day I hope to live in a world that was made peaceful by the courage of men and women who did not arm themselves with weaponry but with love and who gave their lives for the cause of justice!

Con Paz,

Sarita

Tuesday 9:15 am

Dear Family and Friends,

We are about and hour and a half into a two and a half hour trip to the country side to visit with the sisters of the Pequeña Comunidad—a group of sisters who have walked with the poor and persecuted communities before, during, and after the war.  This is our first bathroom break ... And with two stalls and 100 people looks like this will be a chance to rest as well ... Walk ... Stretch ... Blog!


I was a bit exhausted after yesterday's events ... So there are a few things to share ...

After returning to the UCA (the most prestigious university in Central America) we went to a lecture on the root causes of immigration.  We heard the stories of two young men who traveled to the US where they lived as undocumented until certain events occurred that lead them to deportation. 

The one in particular struck my heart strings. He left El Salvador because as a young man he was being targeted by the gangs that have become rampant throughout the country.  He essentially left to save his life. He worked as a mechanic in the states which was good for work but unfortunately was pulled over while testing the cars and was sent to a detention center after being unable to produce documentation. 

No matter what side of the immigration issue you stand we cannot turn our backs on these issues ... We all want  immigrants to come "legally" but then this is where we must work urgently and diligently to create just and appropriate immigration legislation. Until then I cannot justify turning people away who are fleeing for their life.

As we left the lecture there was the loudest group of birds chirping from the surrounding trees ... I feel as though the birds had been following me throughout this day to teach me something profound about relationship.  Below I share a poem inspired by the birds!

Con amor,

Sarita

The birds know no boundaries

It must be freeing
To be a bird
To know no borders
Worrying not of fences and walls
They have no papers
And no one notices
Moving with the wind
If they wish ...
Or not
It must be freeing to be a bird
To not be detained
Nor sent away
The purple Martin comes
The purple Martin goes
We rejoice in her presence
We ask no questions
A little girl looks up
Hearing the caw of the crow
She thinks:
It must be freeing to be a bird





Monday, November 30, 2015

Monday afternoon

Dear Family and Friends,

If we are quiet enough, and aware enough we can commune with the spirits that inhabit the space in which we find ourselves. This afternoon I stood on the very spot where Romero's body fell after being fatally wounded. My hand brushed the stone floor where his blood was poured out.  I prayed at the altar of his sacrifice. I walked through his living quarters and breathed the air he breathed.  I cannot explain in words the feelings coursing through my own veins as I stand in this space—this space that such a holy man, who cared so deeply for his people lived holds stories of pain and suffering and yet ... Once again ... Hope! His life has not been forgotten, he preached of his potential death saying if he were to be killed that he would rise again in the Salvadoran people—this was clearly a prophesy that has been fulfilled and continues to be so!




"On this altar Monsignor Oscar A. Romero offered his life to God for his people."

¡Oscar Romero Presente!

Con amor,

Sarita

Monday 11:30 am

 Dear Family and Friends,

This will be a difficult post to read. My heart aches for the women who have just shared their stories with us, stories of loss with no resolution or truth. What I am going to share of the stories of the "Madres" is at times graphic. But if we turn our face from it simply because it "turns us off" then we only perpetuate injustice.

Here are their stories ...

Una Madre spoke of the story of her brothers who were catechists during the early 80s. Both ended up being detained after which the family never heard of them again. Her family would hear of bodies being discovered and they would go to identify their relatives but the skin of their faces would often be removed making it incredibly difficult to identify their loved ones.  After losing her brothers her husband and son were both killed. She just kept experiencing pain and loss. She wants justice and she wants to know the truth.  I cannot imagine the "not knowing" questions never to be answered ... 

Segunda Madre spoke of losing her son in 1980. I could hear the pain in her words. But it was the second part of her story that brought audible gasps. She lost a second son who disappeared in 2012. She believes this only proves the continued existence of death squads. This was almost harder to hear than the stories of the civil war ... We are talking three years ago! 

What most struck me was her reason for wanting the truth—she wants to give her sons a proper Christian burial. To me this speaks of the deep need for justice and truth ... These women, these families, this country has no closure.  She said, "how can we forget something that is still bleeding in our hearts? The wounds are not being reopened, they have never healed!"

I want to end with her final remarks, "I know that you too feel the pain and suffering because you too lost your sisters."

Con Paz y justicia,

Sarita

Monday 8:40 am

Dear Family and Friends,

I am standing at the wall of memory and truth where the names of those disappeared and murdered during the civil war are etched into the stone. 






It is deeply reminiscent of our own Vietnam Memorial Wall.  There is stillness and sadness here but there also is hope! Names remembered with flowers and letters. One letter from a grandson to his grandfather ... I find myself wondering how old he is ... Did he know his grandfather? Does he only know him through story? How many people and families come to remember? 

I am so aware that this war happened in my life span. While I was a child of the 80s playing with my glow worms and Care Bears the children of the 80s in El Salvador were witnesses to death and despair. I have so many questions ... So few answers ...

We are being summoned to regather ... I shall sign off for now.

Con fe,

Sarita


Sunday, November 29, 2015

Saturday Night 7:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

What do we do with imperialism? I mean I'm the first to admit that my way is usually the best not to mention most efficient way of doing things. But when I really step back and reflect is that a universal truth or a truth for me alone? If my family (or anyone close to me) is reading this they would surely have a different "truth" to speak!  

This afternoon we heard from Maria Silvia Guillen a lawyer and ex-director of FESPAD ("a national organization dedicated to the development of a just and democratic El Salvador through the correct application of the law, especially around human rights.") She spoke with a deep passion for the people and society of El Salvador, she spoke with a desire to find a better way, she spoke with an urgency that makes me question, "what is my role?"  From where I stand where can I go and what can I do? And maybe the simple sharing and passing on of the story is mine to do ...

Maria spoke of imperialism, she shared that the United States is too involved in El Salvador and that a government who does not know the culture and people should not be dictating it. I don't know what the answer is ... I do not know enough of the political and social situation of the country to, as of yet, make an informed opinion on this matter—but what I can definitively say is that her words cannot be ignored and one must spend time to look into the truth they hold before really holding an opinion on them.
 
But I go back to my opening thought ... When it comes to imperialism is there ever really a "universal way"? Maybe the better way is dialogue? And isn't that what this week is about? I hope that's what I can pass on to you. We all need to be a little bit more open to conversation and let go of the way we "know" is best ... Because that's the space where magic happens and human dignity is restored!

Tomorrow is sure to be a long day ... I should attend to resting my body!

Con bendiciones,

Sarita 



Romero's Tomb

Sunday 12:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

There is an indescribable feeling of celebrating liturgy with the tomb of Oscar Romero prominently watching over the worship space. 

After Mass we gathered around his impressive tomb, I reached my hand out and as my palm made contact with the metal encasement I felt a power surge through my body and tears filled my eyes.  I was overwhelmed by this strong physiological reaction. I was caught in my own little world for that moment, though hundreds frenetically moved about me I was frozen and the world fell silent.  A moment later I snapped back to the reality of the present. And we moved toward the bus.

What was that moment? I reconcile it to be an experience of the communion of saints of El Salvador reaching through the thin veil to touch my hand.

The priest spoke to us after liturgy thanking us for our presence. He shared that simply being here does something for the cause of justice!  Well Father, it does good for my soul too.

Con mucho emociones buenos,

Sarita 

9:25 am

Dear Family and Friends,

I won't be getting lost ... On top of being on Latino time I forgot I'm the youngest by far! Bus driver just turned the bus off! Guess we're a putzy group!

Con paciencia,

Sarita 

1st Sunday of Advent 9:00 am

Dear Family and Friends,

A quick note this morning as we gather to head to the cathedral and Romero sites.  There are two poignant thoughts I feel compelled to share.

The first is the embodiment of the word "presente"—this simple word holds deep importance to the Salvadoran people. It is a word that brings all those who have been lost to the injustices and violence of the country to our memory and continued lived experience. In other words I suppose we could say "you are never forgotten!" 

The second is a phrase Jose shared during our morning orientation, "we are here to do justice!" What I so deeply felt was that tiny two letter word "do". Justice will not occur without the actions of others ... Dare I say ... Of us!

We're off better go before I'm left behind!

Con Paz,

Sarita 

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Saturday 5:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

Did you know international flights offer meals? I'm regretting the ten dollar burrito I bought in Dallas realizing now Taco Salad is being served on board ... For free! The first of many "culture shock" moments to come I'm sure!

In all seriousness, I have always loved international flights . . . Not just for the food, though that is certainly an item to be added to the pros list, but because it's a mini-culture unto itself! I would imagine there are two significant cultures represented aboard—North Americans and Salvadorans. But I would also venture to claim there are even more than that! We all sit side by side doing our best to share small spaces!

Already I've made use of my Spanish, and have already been made fun of for it—in a very loving and endearing way I'm sure!  Gabriel the flight attendant has now refused to speak English to me after my admitting that necesito practicar mi espanol para este semana.

I absolutely love Latino cultures! There is a playful yet deeply relational way about them that reminds me of the inter-connectedness of all humanity.  I wonder if that is in part a source of hope that the Salvadoran people hold in their hearts?

We took off into the sunset earlier and now the deepest shade of blue gray lingers. Soon it will be dark. We are a little more than an hour from stepping foot on the soil of El Salvador.  I wait in anticipation of the adventure that lies ahead!

Con Paz y Amor,

Sarita


Saturday 1:00 pm Mid-Flight

Dear Family and Friends,

I could say the first leg of the journey is going smoothly if it weren’t for the uninterrupted stream of turbulence we are experiencing.  I always say turbulence is just like a roller coaster ride with the slight exception of being 30 thousand feet off the ground--which I agree makes it a bit more unsettling.  But in some ways the “unsettling-transition” of my flight seems oddly appropriate of my travels to El Salvador, a country whose very history is riddled with all things “unsettled.”

As I prepared for my time in El Salvador I read the Pre-Delegation Packet provided by SHARE to become acquainted with the history and present state of the country.  I thank SHARE for their thorough and poignant introduction.  El Salvador has a bleak history in which the years of the Civil War (1980-1992) brought so much violence, death, and unrest to the Salvadoran People.  But what we sometimes . . . often . . . forget, or maybe ignore, or maybe we are, at times, simply too pessimistic to realize . . . is the thread of hope that has woven itself through this seemingly dark time.  The women we are remembering (what this whole week is about) are themselves by the very lives they chose to live, symbols of hope.  They gave voice to the voiceless and watched over the lost and forgotten, and for the sake of securing human dignity gave their lives along with Oscar Romero and the Jesuit Martyrs.

These seeds of hope planted by the life blood of those martyred steadily grows in El Salvador.  Oscar Romero proclaimed shortly before his death that if he were killed he would be resurrected in the Salvadoran People.  As we continue on our way I look forward to experiencing not only the stories of these people but the hope that has stemmed from those who have gone before!

Con bendiciones y amor,

Sara


Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Conmemorando

My Dear Friends,

In just a few days we will be celebrating Thanksgiving--a holiday that reminds us of family, friends, and all that is dear to us.  The older I get the more the holidays seem to evoke paradoxical emotions within me.  Certainly I am grateful and there is an obvious joy and happiness, but Thanksgiving was the time of year I lost my daddy. That first year we "celebrated" the holiday only 6 days after his funeral.   So, with that joy and happiness there is emptiness--an emptiness that will never be filled, nor should it be filled. Dietrich Bonhoeffer eloquently puts it:

“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”

It seems appropriate that this year, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I will be traveling to El Salvador with SHARE to remember the churchwomen who were martyred in 1980 .  Just last night on the evening news the State Department issued a world wide travel alert.  It reminded me of 2003 when George Bush told the nation that Americans should not be traveling to foreign countries as he announced the war with Iraq, a month later I was on a plane to Mexico.  I've never been tripped up by fear in my expeditions.  In fact many of my travels have begun with "travel alerts", "Under no circumstances should Americans travel to Nepal."  And yet in ignoring that message I found that  Kathmandu quickly became one of my favorite cities, and the Nepalese some of the most beautiful people I've had the pleasure of encountering.

And so despite terrorist  threats and fear instilled by the media I will go.  That sounds so cavalier of me, but let me assure you, there is a little piece inside me (as there was on all those other occasions) that says, "but, what if?"  But in that moment of doubt I am drawn into Jean Donovan's written words home expressing her own fear and discernment with it.

"The Peace Corps left today and my heart sank low.  The danger is extreme and they were right to leave . . . Now I must assess my own position, because I am not up for suicide.  Several times I have decided to leave El Salvador.  I almost could, except for the children, the poor, the bruised victims of this insanity.  Who would care for them?  Whose heart could be so staunch as to favor the reasonable thing in a sea of their tears and loneliness?  Not mine, dear friend, not mine."

She wrote this weeks before she was killed by a Death Squad.  I do not expect to be martyred, nor do I anticipate any issues in our travels--I would like to assure my family and friends that I am traveling with people who know the land and people and have created the safest environment possible for our pilgrimage. What I do hope to express to you all is that we cannot let fear hold us back from building relationships with the rest of humanity.  We should be tearing down walls, not building fences, and we should learn to love more deeply because it is through encountering the other that we learn something profound about our own human experience.

I do not know what the "connection" possibilities will be upon arrival, but as is possible I will update you here as I travel and grow and remember the Churchwomen of El Salvador.  Paz y bendiciones!

Con Amor,
Sara