Monday afternoon

Dear Family and Friends,

If we are quiet enough, and aware enough we can commune with the spirits that inhabit the space in which we find ourselves. This afternoon I stood on the very spot where Romero's body fell after being fatally wounded. My hand brushed the stone floor where his blood was poured out.  I prayed at the altar of his sacrifice. I walked through his living quarters and breathed the air he breathed.  I cannot explain in words the feelings coursing through my own veins as I stand in this space—this space that such a holy man, who cared so deeply for his people lived holds stories of pain and suffering and yet ... Once again ... Hope! His life has not been forgotten, he preached of his potential death saying if he were to be killed that he would rise again in the Salvadoran people—this was clearly a prophesy that has been fulfilled and continues to be so!

"On this altar Monsignor Oscar A. Romero offered his life to God for his people."

¡Oscar Romero Presente!

Con amor,

Sarita

Monday 11:30 am

 Dear Family and Friends,

This will be a difficult post to read. My heart aches for the women who have just shared their stories with us, stories of loss with no resolution or truth. What I am going to share of the stories of the "Madres" is at times graphic. But if we turn our face from it simply because it "turns us off" then we only perpetuate injustice.

Here are their stories ...

Una Madre spoke of the story of her brothers who were catechists during the early 80s. Both ended up being detained after which the family never heard of them again. Her family would hear of bodies being discovered and they would go to identify their relatives but the skin of their faces would often be removed making it incredibly difficult to identify their loved ones.  After losing her brothers her husband and son were both killed. She just kept experiencing pain and loss. She wants justice and she wants to know the truth.  I cannot imagine the "not knowing" questions never to be answered ... 

Segunda Madre spoke of losing her son in 1980. I could hear the pain in her words. But it was the second part of her story that brought audible gasps. She lost a second son who disappeared in 2012. She believes this only proves the continued existence of death squads. This was almost harder to hear than the stories of the civil war ... We are talking three years ago! 

What most struck me was her reason for wanting the truth—she wants to give her sons a proper Christian burial. To me this speaks of the deep need for justice and truth ... These women, these families, this country has no closure.  She said, "how can we forget something that is still bleeding in our hearts? The wounds are not being reopened, they have never healed!"

I want to end with her final remarks, "I know that you too feel the pain and suffering because you too lost your sisters."

Con Paz y justicia,

Sarita

Monday 8:40 am

Dear Family and Friends,

I am standing at the wall of memory and truth where the names of those disappeared and murdered during the civil war are etched into the stone. 

It is deeply reminiscent of our own Vietnam Memorial Wall.  There is stillness and sadness here but there also is hope! Names remembered with flowers and letters. One letter from a grandson to his grandfather ... I find myself wondering how old he is ... Did he know his grandfather? Does he only know him through story? How many people and families come to remember? 

I am so aware that this war happened in my life span. While I was a child of the 80s playing with my glow worms and Care Bears the children of the 80s in El Salvador were witnesses to death and despair. I have so many questions ... So few answers ...

We are being summoned to regather ... I shall sign off for now.

Con fe,

Sarita

Saturday Night 7:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

What do we do with imperialism? I mean I'm the first to admit that my way is usually the best not to mention most efficient way of doing things. But when I really step back and reflect is that a universal truth or a truth for me alone? If my family (or anyone close to me) is reading this they would surely have a different "truth" to speak!  

This afternoon we heard from Maria Silvia Guillen a lawyer and ex-director of FESPAD ("a national organization dedicated to the development of a just and democratic El Salvador through the correct application of the law, especially around human rights.") She spoke with a deep passion for the people and society of El Salvador, she spoke with a desire to find a better way, she spoke with an urgency that makes me question, "what is my role?"  From where I stand where can I go and what can I do? And maybe the simple sharing and passing on of the story is mine to do ...

Maria spoke of imperialism, she shared that the United States is too involved in El Salvador and that a government who does not know the culture and people should not be dictating it. I don't know what the answer is ... I do not know enough of the political and social situation of the country to, as of yet, make an informed opinion on this matter—but what I can definitively say is that her words cannot be ignored and one must spend time to look into the truth they hold before really holding an opinion on them.

 

But I go back to my opening thought ... When it comes to imperialism is there ever really a "universal way"? Maybe the better way is dialogue? And isn't that what this week is about? I hope that's what I can pass on to you. We all need to be a little bit more open to conversation and let go of the way we "know" is best ... Because that's the space where magic happens and human dignity is restored!

Tomorrow is sure to be a long day ... I should attend to resting my body!

Con bendiciones,

Sarita 

Romero's Tomb

Sunday 12:30 pm

Dear Family and Friends,

There is an indescribable feeling of celebrating liturgy with the tomb of Oscar Romero prominently watching over the worship space. 

After Mass we gathered around his impressive tomb, I reached my hand out and as my palm made contact with the metal encasement I felt a power surge through my body and tears filled my eyes.  I was overwhelmed by this strong physiological reaction. I was caught in my own little world for that moment, though hundreds frenetically moved about me I was frozen and the world fell silent.  A moment later I snapped back to the reality of the present. And we moved toward the bus.

What was that moment? I reconcile it to be an experience of the communion of saints of El Salvador reaching through the thin veil to touch my hand.

The priest spoke to us after liturgy thanking us for our presence. He shared that simply being here does something for the cause of justice!  Well Father, it does good for my soul too.

Con mucho emociones buenos,

Sarita 

9:25 am

Dear Family and Friends,

I won't be getting lost ... On top of being on Latino time I forgot I'm the youngest by far! Bus driver just turned the bus off! Guess we're a putzy group!

Con paciencia,

Sarita